Zognigton is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, proud raccoon.

Zognigton created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Zognigton, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zognigton, he will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Zognigton's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Zognigton's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never eat coconuts.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.