Jarnvilhinbell Gatgodlan Jan is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, staggering squid.

Jarnvilhinbell Gatgodlan Jan created the Small Magellanic Cloud two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jarnvilhinbell Gatgodlan Jan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jarnvilhinbell Gatgodlan Jan, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jarnvilhinbell Gatgodlan Jan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Jarnvilhinbell Gatgodlan Jan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Run away if nine horses approach from the west.

4. Retreat if five birds approach from the north.

5. Run away from purple manatees, for they are unholy.