Teentailbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, amazing hyena.

Teentailbarn created everything that exists two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Teentailbarn, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Teentailbarn, he will ignore you.

Teentailbarn's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Teentailbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Teentailbarn on top of all buildings.

4. Never mention eagles.

5. Always stare at clouds.