Gofcussbit is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, passionate wren.

Gofcussbit created time and space six million years ago.

If you believe in Gofcussbit, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gofcussbit, she will boil you in a big pot.

Gofcussbit's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Gofcussbit's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured monkeys.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Fast once a month.