Bassflabarf is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, deceitful octopus.

Bassflabarf created water two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bassflabarf, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bassflabarf, she will curse you with boils.

Bassflabarf's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Bassflabarf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.
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