Dutruttcip Kapnurvol Kapomin is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, flying gorilla.

Dutruttcip Kapnurvol Kapomin created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutruttcip Kapnurvol Kapomin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dutruttcip Kapnurvol Kapomin, he will destroy your home solar system.

Dutruttcip Kapnurvol Kapomin's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Dutruttcip Kapnurvol Kapomin's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always help snakes in need.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.