Bonkdussdot is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless slug.

Bonkdussdot created humankind eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkdussdot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bonkdussdot, he will turn you into a tree.

Bonkdussdot's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Bonkdussdot's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never hurt dolphins.

3. Never skip in the presence of monkeys.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.
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