Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless rhinoceros.

Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell, she will curse you with boils.

Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from brown aardvarks, for they are unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not take Sakgumzakbugtarlibmitbell's name in vain.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.