Gutrigrill is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, merciless unicorn.

Gutrigrill created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Gutrigrill, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gutrigrill, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Gutrigrill's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Gutrigrill's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Always help ducks in need.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never write about comets.