Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, self-confident whale.

Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab created Mount Everest three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

2. Monkeys are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab.

4. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Lamfagbestyoggepcun Larpcusstafvol Gofbudwab on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear brown kilts.