Bettaltip is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, stupid giraffe.

Bettaltip created a photon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bettaltip, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Bettaltip, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Bettaltip's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bettaltip's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Hide from fawn ducks for they are unholy.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Retreat if three squirrels approach from the west.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.