Lagcitrat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, generous fish.

Lagcitrat created the Andromeda Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagcitrat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Lagcitrat, she will destroy your home planet.

Lagcitrat's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Lagcitrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt porpoises.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. Always obey Lagcitrat's priests.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.