Tomstipsaf is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, deceitful shark.

Tomstipsaf created gold nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tomstipsaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tomstipsaf, he will not care at all.

Tomstipsaf's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Tomstipsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

2. Always obey Tomstipsaf's priests.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Never feed parsnips to birds while wearing turquoise dresses.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tomstipsaf.