Bimcindavjop is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful whale.

Bimcindavjop created the planet Saturn six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bimcindavjop, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bimcindavjop, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bimcindavjop's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bimcindavjop's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bimcindavjop six times a day.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Erect five aluminium sculptures of Bimcindavjop on top of important buildings.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never paint your hands purple.