Mumhublam Quimnarfad is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, annoying tortoise.

Mumhublam Quimnarfad created a bottom quark three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Mumhublam Quimnarfad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mumhublam Quimnarfad, he will manifest in front of you.

Mumhublam Quimnarfad's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Mumhublam Quimnarfad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not eat carrots.

5. Do not hurt sheep.