Dobwanwonsas Baddogcitstik is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving alligator.

Dobwanwonsas Baddogcitstik created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Dobwanwonsas Baddogcitstik, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dobwanwonsas Baddogcitstik, he will torture you forever.

Dobwanwonsas Baddogcitstik's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Dobwanwonsas Baddogcitstik's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Never laugh in the presence of dogs.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not stand on grass.