Fatditrip Nilljipcum is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, slow hedgehog.

Fatditrip Nilljipcum created Europe eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fatditrip Nilljipcum, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fatditrip Nilljipcum, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Fatditrip Nilljipcum's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fatditrip Nilljipcum's Holy Commandments

1. Fatditrip Nilljipcum loves doves, so they must be honoured.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fatditrip Nilljipcum.

3. Always help sick snails.

4. Do not wear cyan clothing.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.