Rilbetkap is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, uncaring cow.

Rilbetkap created the solar system two million years ago.

If you believe in Rilbetkap, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rilbetkap, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Rilbetkap's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Rilbetkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate moths.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Hide if seven capybaras approach from the north.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always stare at clouds.