Honquaggov is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, humorless goblin.

Honquaggov created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Honquaggov, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Honquaggov, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Honquaggov's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Honquaggov's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no mites in a building before entering it.

2. Always obey Honquaggov's priests.

3. Do not wear silver on your body.

4. Never feed corn to grasshopers while wearing pink trousers.

5. Never pour water over plants.