Yartamhab is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, overgenerous mole.

Yartamhab created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yartamhab, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yartamhab, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yartamhab's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Yartamhab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never paint your hands black.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.