Ortomttik is a god.

He takes the form of a small, awe-inspiring camel.

Ortomttik created a down quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortomttik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ortomttik, he will curse you with boils.

Ortomttik's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Ortomttik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair pink.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Ortomttik on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.