Labflagsig Motzigvog is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, vain hyena.

Labflagsig Motzigvog created the planet Earth seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Labflagsig Motzigvog, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Labflagsig Motzigvog, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Labflagsig Motzigvog's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Labflagsig Motzigvog's Holy Commandments

1. Put Labflagsig Motzigvog first in all things.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about galaxies.