Maplinwot is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fast squid.

Maplinwot created the Tadpole Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Maplinwot, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Maplinwot, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Maplinwot's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Maplinwot's Holy Commandments

1. Put Maplinwot first in all things.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Worship no other gods but Maplinwot.

5. Never talk about whales.