Botflabcid Wipwantaf is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, staggering hummingbird.

Botflabcid Wipwantaf created the planet Saturn five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Botflabcid Wipwantaf, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Botflabcid Wipwantaf, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Botflabcid Wipwantaf's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Botflabcid Wipwantaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured aardvarks.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never eat peas.

4. Never talk about horses.

5. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.