Nigwod is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, vain lobster.

Nigwod created the planet Venus seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nigwod, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nigwod, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nigwod's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Nigwod's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never eat rice.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Nigwod on top of all buildings.

5. Never wear pink hats.