Metgatgub is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, ruthless aardvark.

Metgatgub created the Tadpole Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Metgatgub, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Metgatgub, it will boil you in a big pot.

Metgatgub's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Metgatgub's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured tortoises.

2. Do not speak about nuts.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Run away if eight eagles approach from the south.