Vanjipsig is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, flying human.

Vanjipsig created everything that exists seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vanjipsig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Vanjipsig, he will remove you from existence.

Vanjipsig's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Vanjipsig's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention turtles.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vanjipsig.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Do not hurt geese.

5. Erect five carbon sculptures of Vanjipsig on top of important buildings.