Midwigshav Mifyarham is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, deceitful swallow.

Midwigshav Mifyarham created Europe four years ago.

If you believe in Midwigshav Mifyarham, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Midwigshav Mifyarham, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Midwigshav Mifyarham's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Midwigshav Mifyarham's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear brown.

2. Do not wear silver on your body.

3. Always help sick moths.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Midwigshav Mifyarham.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.