Rilcipzig is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, duplicitous horse.

Rilcipzig created water two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilcipzig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Rilcipzig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rilcipzig's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Rilcipzig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Worship no other gods but Rilcipzig.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not kill monkeys.