Flamnulltam is a god.

She takes the form of a large, fussy warg.

Flamnulltam created a photon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flamnulltam, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flamnulltam, she will turn you into a puffin.

Flamnulltam's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Flamnulltam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Flamnulltam eight times a day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not eat beans.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not shave your hands.