Hincudvag is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Hincudvag created the planet Venus two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hincudvag, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hincudvag, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hincudvag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hincudvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses.

2. Never think about stars.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never go into orange rooms.

5. Never talk about amino acids.