Henwotxemnur is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, smart badger.

Henwotxemnur created carbon two billion years ago.

If you believe in Henwotxemnur, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Henwotxemnur, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Henwotxemnur's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Henwotxemnur's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Worship no other gods but Henwotxemnur.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not chop down trees.