Sawfubflatzim is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, irritating chinchilla.

Sawfubflatzim created oxygen eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sawfubflatzim, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Sawfubflatzim, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Sawfubflatzim's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Sawfubflatzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about pigs.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not dye your hair turquoise.