Dubxenjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonest porpoise.

Dubxenjarn created snails twelve years ago.

If you believe in Dubxenjarn, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dubxenjarn, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Dubxenjarn's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Dubxenjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never paint your back violet.

5. Pray towards the west.