Larplargflap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, competent walrus.

Larplargflap created gold nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larplargflap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Larplargflap, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Larplargflap's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Larplargflap's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine mites approach from the north.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.