Hotnabnan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, unfair wolf.

Hotnabnan created the planet Earth three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotnabnan, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hotnabnan, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Hotnabnan's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Hotnabnan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.