Hakdossmatcitbagrill is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, vain wombat.

Hakdossmatcitbagrill created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakdossmatcitbagrill, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hakdossmatcitbagrill, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Hakdossmatcitbagrill's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Hakdossmatcitbagrill's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Never look at galaxies.