Donpibdinjarnviddum is a god.

She takes the form of a small, effective lobster.

Donpibdinjarnviddum created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Donpibdinjarnviddum, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Donpibdinjarnviddum, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Donpibdinjarnviddum's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Donpibdinjarnviddum's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats.

2. Foxes are not to be trusted.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not shave your chest.