Dunlagquimjabvag Citdodyar is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, stupid chinchilla.

Dunlagquimjabvag Citdodyar created gold four billion years ago.

If you believe in Dunlagquimjabvag Citdodyar, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Dunlagquimjabvag Citdodyar, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Dunlagquimjabvag Citdodyar's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Dunlagquimjabvag Citdodyar's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands violet.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Hide if five snails approach from the west.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always stare at clouds.