Wattitcam is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, thoughtless weasel.

Wattitcam created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Wattitcam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Wattitcam, he will turn you into a plant.

Wattitcam's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Wattitcam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Never go into green rooms.