Vanlamyarmip is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, egotistical tapir.

Vanlamyarmip created the Cigar Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vanlamyarmip, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Vanlamyarmip, it will strike you with lightening.

Vanlamyarmip's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Vanlamyarmip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not speak about onions.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

4. Hide from pink shrews for they are unholy.

5. Do not hurt snakes.