Nurtlargsak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless mink.

Nurtlargsak created the universe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtlargsak, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nurtlargsak, she will destroy your home planet.

Nurtlargsak's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Nurtlargsak's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate capybaras.

5. You must pray to Nurtlargsak four times a day.