Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, witty wyvern.

Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam created viruses eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam, she will come to you in dreams.

Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. You must pray to Arfortjam Wabdapkonbam nine times a day.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.