Cemvoncub is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, generous deer.

Cemvoncub created carbon seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cemvoncub, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cemvoncub, she will turn you into a mouse.

Cemvoncub's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cemvoncub's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never mention tapirs.

3. You must never eat grapes.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never eat bark.