Flagbannarrawmapbid Mitgenvilpak is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, moody wolf.

Flagbannarrawmapbid Mitgenvilpak created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Flagbannarrawmapbid Mitgenvilpak, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Flagbannarrawmapbid Mitgenvilpak, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flagbannarrawmapbid Mitgenvilpak's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Flagbannarrawmapbid Mitgenvilpak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Hide if nine otters approach from the north.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not speak about lentils.