Tandussvag is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, capable hamster.

Tandussvag created gold four years ago.

If you believe in Tandussvag, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tandussvag, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Tandussvag's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Tandussvag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat horses with great respect.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate sheep.

4. Put Tandussvag first in all things.

5. Do not hurt snakes.