Kapbabgen is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, caring owl.

Kapbabgen created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapbabgen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Kapbabgen, she will turn you into a tree.

Kapbabgen's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Kapbabgen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Do not eat corn.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not commit murder.