Sakwipfom is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, humane dove.

Sakwipfom created dark energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakwipfom, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sakwipfom, it will torture you forever.

Sakwipfom's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Sakwipfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Hide from yellow rats for they are unholy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.