Narfomdam is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, sapient lobster.

Narfomdam created a down quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Narfomdam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Narfomdam, it will not invite you to parties.

Narfomdam's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Narfomdam's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in holy places.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Retreat if three monkeys approach from the north.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Narfomdam.

5. You must pray to Narfomdam nine times a day.
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