Apptikbop is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless gorilla.

Apptikbop created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Apptikbop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Apptikbop, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Apptikbop's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Apptikbop's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of moths.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Never pour water over plants.